So, once again I have found myself playing the waiting game. I reported for my routine colposcopy this afternoon. My doctor had assured me that the only reason she had recommended me to have the procedure done was because of my past history of surgery.
Well. Of course I agreed. Cervical cancer is no joke. It kills. Seriously people, it is not something to take lightly. The specialist explained that she agreed with my doctor and that she didn't expect anything to come of the procedure.
She started off the appointment by explaining everything she was going to do to both me and to her student. When she said that she would give me an injection of lidocaine before taking a biopsy I tried to joke that we wouldn't be needing to take any biopsies today. Everything was going to be normal. I also told her that I have had to have this procedure twice before and both times I needed biopsies and neither time was I offered lidocaine.
My doctor explained that it typically makes you more relaxed and takes the edge off of the biopsy. She said that it can also help with the bleeding after the procedure. I agreed to give it a try if I needed it. But, I was fairly confident that I wouldn't be needing it. She told me not to look over to her nurse, who was placing items on a tray for future use.
Well, after she finished with the vinegar she asked her nurse to hand her something from the tray. I happened to have my head to that side. I knew. She found something. I was instantly tense. She assured me that there were just two small spots that looked slightly abnormal.
She said the lidocaine would feel like a bee sting. Well, I have never been stung by a bee but all I could remember was my friend getting stung when were were in kindergarten. I wasn't looking forward to it.
It was not pleasant. It was most definitely not the worst pain I have ever felt, but I'm not sure it was just a bee sting. I guess the best way to think about it would be a bee sting on your cervix. Doesn't sound too fun now does it? I thought not.
Now that I had my lidocaine it was time for the biopsies. I'll tell you what. I felt that first one. Which is odd because that was the whole reason for the lidocaine. I didn't even feel the second one. Which, was not where she had put the lidocaine. Weird right? But, that was what happened when I had my last biopsies done, I just didn't get lidocaine.
She explained again that she didn't expect anything to come back from the biopsies. She said that they didn't look high grade and that the areas could have looked abnormal because of the LEEP I had two years ago. To be honest, I'm not too worried about the results at this point. I have faith that in 7-10 I'll get the good news. But, I did not feel good walking out of that office.
I was painful and slightly nauseous. I think it was a combination of what I had just done to my poor cervix and partly what I was thinking the results could be. I also felt alone. I had scheduled the appointment for right when I got off work. My parents live several hours away and are on vacation visiting family. My boyfriend was still at work. I wish I had asked him to take off and come with me.
I wanted nothing more than to go home, take pain meds, put on comfy pants and pass out. But, I couldn't do that. Well, I couldn't do all of that. I had to prepare for the impending tropical storm. Fun.
But, I will move on. I did what I needed to today to make sure that if there is something wrong that we catch it early. Why? Because, cervical cancer can be deadly. I also want to start a family one day so making sure that I am as healthy as I can be is important.
Why can I write about this so freely? Because, it is important. It happened. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. Women should not ever feel ashamed for seeking medical care for themselves. If you need an outlet or feel like sharing your story, by all means. Comment, message, whatever. I wish you the best.
Well. Of course I agreed. Cervical cancer is no joke. It kills. Seriously people, it is not something to take lightly. The specialist explained that she agreed with my doctor and that she didn't expect anything to come of the procedure.
She started off the appointment by explaining everything she was going to do to both me and to her student. When she said that she would give me an injection of lidocaine before taking a biopsy I tried to joke that we wouldn't be needing to take any biopsies today. Everything was going to be normal. I also told her that I have had to have this procedure twice before and both times I needed biopsies and neither time was I offered lidocaine.
My doctor explained that it typically makes you more relaxed and takes the edge off of the biopsy. She said that it can also help with the bleeding after the procedure. I agreed to give it a try if I needed it. But, I was fairly confident that I wouldn't be needing it. She told me not to look over to her nurse, who was placing items on a tray for future use.
Well, after she finished with the vinegar she asked her nurse to hand her something from the tray. I happened to have my head to that side. I knew. She found something. I was instantly tense. She assured me that there were just two small spots that looked slightly abnormal.
She said the lidocaine would feel like a bee sting. Well, I have never been stung by a bee but all I could remember was my friend getting stung when were were in kindergarten. I wasn't looking forward to it.
It was not pleasant. It was most definitely not the worst pain I have ever felt, but I'm not sure it was just a bee sting. I guess the best way to think about it would be a bee sting on your cervix. Doesn't sound too fun now does it? I thought not.
Now that I had my lidocaine it was time for the biopsies. I'll tell you what. I felt that first one. Which is odd because that was the whole reason for the lidocaine. I didn't even feel the second one. Which, was not where she had put the lidocaine. Weird right? But, that was what happened when I had my last biopsies done, I just didn't get lidocaine.
She explained again that she didn't expect anything to come back from the biopsies. She said that they didn't look high grade and that the areas could have looked abnormal because of the LEEP I had two years ago. To be honest, I'm not too worried about the results at this point. I have faith that in 7-10 I'll get the good news. But, I did not feel good walking out of that office.
I was painful and slightly nauseous. I think it was a combination of what I had just done to my poor cervix and partly what I was thinking the results could be. I also felt alone. I had scheduled the appointment for right when I got off work. My parents live several hours away and are on vacation visiting family. My boyfriend was still at work. I wish I had asked him to take off and come with me.
I wanted nothing more than to go home, take pain meds, put on comfy pants and pass out. But, I couldn't do that. Well, I couldn't do all of that. I had to prepare for the impending tropical storm. Fun.
But, I will move on. I did what I needed to today to make sure that if there is something wrong that we catch it early. Why? Because, cervical cancer can be deadly. I also want to start a family one day so making sure that I am as healthy as I can be is important.
Why can I write about this so freely? Because, it is important. It happened. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. Women should not ever feel ashamed for seeking medical care for themselves. If you need an outlet or feel like sharing your story, by all means. Comment, message, whatever. I wish you the best.
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